Toddler Status

Our little girl is growing up. Well, duh. But once in awhile I feel like we officially have reached another stage. And we are there.

At 12 months our infant - who was already walking - was changing to a different room at daycare.  I assumed there was like a pre-toddler room.  I wouldn't even be able to classify what this age group would be called but I assumed there was a stage between infant and toddler.  There isn't.

Ava moved up to the toddler room and I panicked a little bit.  They had a few new rules and I was nervous if Ava Mom was ready for this next step.

The kids had to wear shoes. I know other parents put little shoes on their kids because it's cute but I was not one of those parents. For one, this was back in summer and we went barefoot all the time. Two, she had just starting walking a couple weeks prior so it was unnecessary up until this point.  Anyhow, we went to the store and picked out some cute sneakers together, went home to try them on, and Ava began walking like she had gum on the bottom of her feet. And walking wide-legged like she was on a horse or something. It was very funny to watch as she would take a few high-stepped, wide-legged steps towards us and then just reach towards us with her arms stretched out so she wouldn't have to go any further.  But after only a few minutes she sat down and looked at us frantically while trying to undo the Velcro and get them off her feet.  I couldn't imagine how this would go when she had to wear them for ten hours.

The kids had scheduled nap time.  Ava has her own schedule. Our routine is there is no routine. Not to say that it varies by like ten hours...but sometimes it does vary by as much as 4 or 5 hours.  Sometimes one nap. Sometimes three naps. Sometimes they last 20 minutes. Sometimes 2 hours. Sometimes they start at 10:30 in the morning. Other days not til 3pm.  We go with our own flow or lack thereof.  I was terrified that for two and a half hours they would force our child to lay there and not get up. My child knows no true schedule and I was sad to think of her crying for over two hours in a crib until designated nap time ended.

The kids drank out of sippy cups. My child drank a little out of a sippy but preferred a bottle. Especially before a nap. She drank only a couple ounces if she was given a sippy opposed to finishing the whole bottle. Despite my child being in the 95% for weight she would surely starve, right?! If her tears from nap time didn't drown her first.

These kids played outside. There were bees. She inherited my husbands pale porcelain skin and the sun would surely fry her.  The times we took Ava outside she tried eating rocks. And grass. And mulch. And that is when the parent:kid ratio was triple what the daycare requires.  Ava would obviously devour the playground like a cow after starving from only getting a sippy cup to drink out of.

This toddler room was ruthless.

And yet she survived.  She adjusted with ease to their schedules and activities. She grew into a toddler very shortly after entering that room.  And we lost our little infant.

She has grown so much.  Looking back on just the last month it astounds me how quickly she picks up on everything. So quickly that we are going to need to clean up our occasional potty mouth moments. And stop laughing when she does something disobedient and stubbornly...in her very cute way of ignoring our requests and doing her independent thing.  In her way where Kyle and I look at each other and say, 'Yup she takes after us!'

In the past couple months she has starting climbing. And balancing on the arm of our couch. And balancing on her car while dancing to the music she plays. And spinning around the room until she gets dizzy and falls (just happened yesterday). Loves standing in a shopping cart like she is surfing (while I hold her hand and move at a snail's pace). And speaking a lot more including tell the dogs 'No!' like we do. And trying to copy when I say 'I love you' (can't wait to hear those words back). And trying to put socks and shoes on. Trying to brush her hair. Trying to brush her teeth. Pointing out her nose and more recently her belly. She also pokes your eyes, mouth, and ears trying to figure out what everything is. Drinking out of a real cup. Using a fork to eat her food (not consistently but she has done it all by herself on several occasions). Walking around talking on our cell phones and pushing on the phone like she is texting.  Helping feed the dogs by tipping the cups of food into their bowls. And trying to climb over the gate. Helping stir food.  Stacking four cans. Reading books to herself. Climbing up in chairs. Helping put away toys as well as clean dishes.

And with toddlerism brought her new attitude. The tantrums. The crying when things are taken away from her. Like taking away the toilet plunger she discovered. Or the Chapstick addiction she is developing like her mom, but instead of wearing it on her lips she is taking bites out of its cherry flavor.  She has begun the pinching of my neck skin. The scratching of my cheeks. The biting of my leg. The pulling of my hair. The slapping Daddy's back. And so we also got to experience her first  timeout the other day. The sitting of silence in a corner with Mommy for eternity. Or really just sixty seconds. But to Ava the last 45 seconds, after she realized we weren't playing or talking, was basically eternity.


This stage has also brought out some of my favorite moments. Like her learning to spin til she is dizzy and falling down and thinking it's hilarious. Or clapping her hands when she stacks her Legos. And clapping her hands even when those Legos aren't connected and fall apart but she still thinks it deserves an applause. So we clap, too and chuckle to ourselves. And I love the jumping on the bed and then tickling her as she cracks up in only the way that I have been able to make her laugh. Makes you feel like a million bucks. Or how she wants to be in my lap to read or sit and pat her feet on the ground. And the way she hugs me tight and holds on before we are about to get in the car, looks up at me quickly, and then buries her head back on my shoulder. And the way she gives me kisses. Then looks at me and falls towards me again for another kiss. And another til she just looks at me with a huge smile like we just had the best inside joke.  And high fives on command. And she loves turning light switches on and off.  And closing doors.  And she loves climbing in drawers and cabinets and closets.  How she run up to me and screams when I get home from work, reaching her arms up as far as they can go so I will pick her up for a hug and kiss. How if I try to get away for even a couple minutes to change clothes or go to the bathroom I will hear the little pitter patter of running feet and then a few bangs on the door as she shouts different words to get me to let her in with me.  How she sees something new or fun and her face makes the 'oooooooh' face.  How she hides behind our living room chairs and waits for us to say 'where is Ava?' So she can poke her head out with a huge grin and giggle.  How she carries pillows down the hall to plop on top of them for nap time. And how she recently copies exactly what I'm doing at home. Like wanting a wet cloth to help me wipe down cabinets. And grabbing the broom on several occasions to sweep the floor.  The way she reaches for my hand when we walk through stores. Or runs the other way so I will catch her and she can squeal once she has been caught.  And when she turns into a cuddly little girl and curls to sleep on us, wakes up only to make sure we are still there, and cuddles up again to fall back to sleep.

We love this girl with all our hearts.

Meal Planning

I forced my husband to set New Year goals with me.  I thought it would hold us a bit accountable and also keep us on the same page.

One of our goals is to be more frugal with money. We don't eat out at fancy restaurants, but we also don't normally think twice about eating out with friends at a chain restaurant.  And we typically wreak havoc on grocery bills. Two weeks ago that changed and we thought it would be smart to meal plan. Ya know, have a goal at the grocery store where the ingredients didn't just sound good, but had an intended meal. Otherwise, we wander through the store and grab fresh veggies that go bad because there wasn't a dish to put them in or we end up with nachos for dinner because we only have shredded cheese and tortilla chips left.

We sat down and made a list of meals for the week. Nothing fancy, just normal foods we like such as spaghetti. Then we went through the fridge to see what we needed to make  everything. Also, adding on other essentials for breakfast or snacks. And then we set a goal for the price.  Really didn't seem to difficult so we were on our way through the store, proudly standing at the check out line with a cart that seemed half as full as normal. And then the price showed up on the screen. $50 over our 'budget'!  We figured this is week one. We can make up for this, right?

So, all week we made our meals and had leftovers for lunch each day which was perfect.  And then we planned for the next week. This time trying to be even more frugal so we picked a couple crock pot recipes, noodles, Mexican food, and a day of leftovers.  We walked proudly to the check out line again with our discounted items and off-brand food. And bam - $25 over budget. What the hell?

I am thinking we may switch grocery stores. Or maybe wait til the end of the month and see how much cheaper everything ends up being. I'm thinking since we aren't eating out that our grocery bill may be slightly higher than normal, but overall it will cost is less each month for food costs. I hope.  I mean we aren't buying organic, fresh fruits and veggies, steaks, and gourmet cheese.  We are buying the cheapest price per unit for everything and still end up overboard. Ridiculous.

Even more ridiculous is that we decided to not eat out about two weeks ago.  We were more so grabbing fast good for lunch because we wouldn't make a lunch, so we have solved that problem. But within these last two weeks we have been asked out for lunch or dinner 5 times.  I felt rude at first because someone would ask us to eat and I'm turning them down and feel like I'm saying I don't want to hang out with you.  But I an also uncomfortable talking about money - saving money, spending money, making money.  I don't like any of the topics.  But luckily, after about the third time Kyle spoke up and was honest and just said we are trying to save money and not eat out as much. Seemed easy enough, but several friends then offered to just pay for us which just makes me uncomfortable.  Anyhow, just so surprising how frequently road blocks appear when you set a goal for yourself.  And makes it that much more difficult to stay on track.

New Year

We spent New Years at home. Like just us three, er 4. Or 6 if you count our furry kids. We made dinner, watched a movie, and around 9pm Ava and I were ready for bed.  I get excited to do things as a family, but a bit bummed we don't have friends with families that live close by.  And as the night gets later I get a bit lonely that we decided to stay in while we have friends in other cities that won't be in bed for a few more hours. But honestly instead of wanting to go back in time to our spontaneous lives of bars, late nights, and little responsibility - I really hope in time our friends will get married and pop out babies, too. Instead of searching for singles in downtown bars, I hope one day a friend would prefer a play date or dinner in and still consider it a fun night. In time right?!

As the year winds down I had been thinking back on our years together.  I reflected on our lives so far and how our plans used to focus on where to party and now it focuses more on what we want to do as a family and who we want to be around.  Choosing who we want to make time for and make part of our lives.  And sadly sometimes still not getting time to see those people due to time, work, distance, and money...you know, responsibilities.  I thought of this year being Ava's last as an only child. And I got sad because it will make our baby seem so grown up. And I thought of all the changes we have made and told Kyle that I think even in the beginning of our relationship that this is the life we both wanted in a few years. Then I firmly asked "right?!" :)

My favorite part of New Years is the ball dropping in New York. And up until like 5 years ago (yes, I'm pretty sure I was in college) I thought the ball re-dropped every hour which for some reason made it more magical. Like I was counting down with all Times Square. And then I found out the ball drops once and then is replayed each hour. Seriously one of the most disappointing things.  So this year I was expecting to fall asleep early and wake up in 2014, but surprisingly at like 11:50pm Kyle woke me up, turned on the TV, and we watched the ball drop together. Love those little surprises. Ava even woke up, too (I am guessing from the light of the TV since it was basically muted). And the dogs were freaking out from the fireworks going off so they joined as well and we rang in 2014 as a family.

Some of my goals for this coming year are
-being smart with money
-being more patient
-not raising my voice
-lastly I want to have balance in the next year. Mostly family and work balance. But I think it should also include friends, husband/wife, and personal life balance. I think when Ava was born I either wanted to be with her or I would be at work but I wouldn't be caught dead leaving her for a few hours to see friends or to work out or to go on a date with Kyle. That would just cut into my time with her and although I still feel strongly about that and want my extra time to be with her there does need to be a balance.

Here's to a New Year and a better version of us all

Hallelujah

Written 3/21/13:

We slept through the night.  All of us.  OMG.  It has been over 6 months since we have been getting sleep and now it's been a couple nights in a row.  And it's glorious!

I have asked and asked around (just about the only thing I have asked advice for because I'm a bit stubborn proud independent the best mom ever and I don't need to follow advice) about how to get your child to sleep through the night.

The first couple months people said:
1. She's a bigger baby and she won't sleep the whole night because she will be hungry more often (funny they say this about small babies, too, but because they need to eat to grow so whatever)
2. She's too young and will not sleep through the night so don't worry about it, it will happen in time
3. Breast milk goes through her faster so she will need to eat more often
4. Take her out of our room so that we all sleep better and not hear each other in the middle of the night

Then people said:
1. Only a little longer and she will sleep through the night
2. Or they just looked at us with /pity faces

And finally when she got around 5 months old:
1.  Still got the sad/pity face of people thinking "what are you guys doing wrong?"
2. Don't rock her to sleep
3. Don't feed her to help her fall sleep
3. Lay her down when she is tired so she learns to fall asleep
4. Take her out of our room
5. Have her take less naps (not possible...she takes 3 power naps a day...like 20 minute naps and then she is ready to play for 4 hours)
6. And finally...let her cry it out

Well first, some of this advice around 5 months would have been nice at one and two months (even though I'm not sure I would have followed the advice if she started crying)!  It made me feel like I had already screwed up my child and we were stuck with our nightly snuggles, feedings, and diaper changes.

And my second thought was who are these demon moms who let their kids cry it out?

But time after time everyone insisted - Crying it out works!  I had several moms say that they waited til their baby was 8 months and finally gave in to letting their child cry it out so they could get sleep and not be the crazy mom.  Other moms said they waited til 18 months and finally caved to the crying it out method.  But the one thing that was not said was that crying it out did NOT work.  100% effective.  And I knew we had to look into it.

There was basically the cry it out method and the not cry it out method.  And in all actuality these are the same method.  The latter method is really for the parents to feel better and not the child because the child cries just the same.  The cry it out method is letting your kid just cry...and cry...and cry...but with no intervention.  No hugs, no affection, no peeking into the crib, no bottle, no rocking.  Nothing.  Well, except for listening to your kid cry.  The second method, unlike the title states, also involves crying.  And more crying.  And some more after that.  BUT at different intervals of time you are able to console your kid.  Not with hugs, rocking, or food.  But with pats on the back and hushing for about a minute and then disapperaing again.  So that your appearances do not mean food or play time, and eventually they give up and go to sleep.

The last part is what got me every time.  They give up.  They know you aren't there for affection.  For love.  To take care of their wants and needs.  They basically think "Screw it, Mom doesn't love me so I guess I'll pass out".  And this is part of the reason we postponed trying this 100% effective method for so long.

In general I didn't want Ava to "give up", but I also was affected by a little boy at Ava's daycare.  At daycare there was a family who took in foster kids and infants.  When Ava was only a couple months old there was a little boy who came to daycare who had the worst diaper rash the employees had ever seen.  They told me that it was bleeding and still the little boy wouldn't cry.  At only 5 months old this little boy had already learned that when he cried noone would come.  He "gave up".  So he had already stopped crying for help when he was tired, hungry, or in pain.  It broke my heart.  And this little boy came to mind every time someone wanted me to have Ava cry it out and learn that I wouldn't be there for her every need and want.  And even with people telling me that he was a foster kid and his situation was very different from me trying to get Ava just to sleep thru the night...my heart said there was no difference and I just couldn't handle doing that to her.

Our baby is happy just about all the time.  No crying.  Just a bit of whining when she is tired or hungry and then smiles.  I didn't want to flip her life around and have her crying half the day just to sleep for her 15 minute power naps!  I didn't want to have her cry herself to sleep when I know I could simply rock her for 5 minutes and have her stay awake part of the night just to wake for a feeding or two.  Or sometimes seven times.  But I could fake that is was always just once a night just so we didn't have to try this method :)

But at last the time came.  And we had to choose.  To sleep or not to sleep?  Although it really felt like...to love your child or not to love your child?

With my research on the different sleep training methods, most said to start around 3-6 months.  But none of them listed the starting age at 6 months.  Oops.  Did this mean we were going to be defective?  Out of age range for sleeping?  Shit.

Last Thursday we experimented with crying it out for the first time.  The experiment would begin when she woke up in the middle of the night so we still helped Ava fall asleep for bed like usual (entails about 10 minutes of feeding).  She passed out around 8:30 and we headed to bed a bit after that (because we are late night party animals).  Around 1am the monster had awoken.  And Kyle and I stared at each other like "are we really going to do this?".  And so she cried.  And after a couple minutes we kinda looked at each other again like "are we still doing this?".

I tried to grab my phone and play games to distract myself from the time.  But I did keep track of the time.  We kept track of every minute.  Minute by minute as they dragged on.  At several point one or the other of us wanted to cave and we would discuss that at some point we had to do this or she would always wake up for a bottle or for Mom and Dad in the middle of the night.

And the time kept passing and she was not calming.  20 minutes went by.  I covered my ears tried to fall asleep.  Started crying.  Thought she would think I didn't love her.  Kyle would want to cave knowing that we could calm her back to sleep.  Also wanting sleep himself.

And then 40 minutes went by.  And I'm thinking my Mommy & Me fitness teacher told me at 40 minutes her baby finally "gave up" and passed out.  And I'm like ok it can't be too much longer.  Because 40 minutes was the longest amount of time I heard from anyone.

And then 45 minutes came and went.  And I'm like well she beat the longest record I've ever heard of for crying it out.  And again we wanted to go in there to save her.  But I was like I can't do this again.  I can't handle another night of 45 minutes of crying.  So if this is what it takes then we need to keep going because I can't go thru this gruelling process again.  I also thought of our pediatrician saying that it is easier now to have her cry it out while she is only able to push up on her arms and lift her head off the ground rather than when she is older and can stand on the side of the crib screaming.  So we kept going.

And finally we surpassed an hour.  And I'm thinking "what the fuck?".  Because honestly what else is there to think.

But I continue to think that for an additional 30 minutes.  For a total of an hour and a half of crying it out.  And baby girl finally "gives up" and falls asleep.  And sleeps the remainder of the night.  And I don't know whether to cheer or feel like a shit ass mom for letting her baby girl cry for that long.  But either way night 1 was over.  And I can hug her and feed her and go about our day...a little more tired and zombie-like than the day before.

The next night consisted of 45 minutes of crying before she fell asleep...and the next night 30...and then 20...and it slowly got less dreadful as bedtime approached.

Regardless of the outcome,  I am still not convinced I would recommend this approach to others.  But like everyone else who told me about this approach, we are yet another product of it's 100% effectiveness.  And I guess you can't beat that.  Or a full nights sleep!

The Crib

Before Ava was born I read up on SIDS.  Not to an extreme.  But enough to know that even though they didn't know what "causes" SIDS, there were recommendations on how to prevent it.  Doesn't exactly make sense to me to have recommendations on how to prevent something if you don't know the cause of it.  If there are ways to prevent or decrease the chance of something happening it seems they have found the cause.  Right?! Whatev

Anyhow.  One of the ways to decrease the chance of SIDS was to have your child sleep in the same room with you for the first 6 months.  Well, honestly, I wanted Ava to be near me anyways.  So this was A-OK with me!  And regardless, if we heard her moving around, coughing, or had a feeling something was wrong we could either get up and have to go to the other room to make sure she was alive or we could peak in the crib by our bedside.  We opted for the bedside.

I have loved having her in our room.  Sometimes she moves around and wakes up the hubs...Mr. Lightsleeper.  But we also love peering over to see her smile, listen to her talk, or see her hand grab the side of the crib like she is trying to escape.  And sometimes we just watch her as she sleeps contently like a little angel.

A few times we contemplated moving her to her own room because we thought we were all waking each other up.  Making for interrupted, restless nights.  But in the end we kept her in our room and were comforted all being together.

I knew I wanted to have Ava in her own room at 6 months because if she slept in our room any longer we would both have separation anxiety.  At 6 months, I am really the only person who would have to deal with the separation anxiety.  And if we cut the cord at 6 months, we kept her safe according to SIDS guidelines while also giving her her own space before she ever knew that she had only stayed in our room her whole life.

And so on her 6 month birthday we got everything ready for the move. 

We set up the monitor.  And I turned the volume all the way up.  So much that we could hear our voices in our speaker...from talking in our room which carried our voices to her monitor in her room and was then heard through our speaker in our room where the noise started.  Uh, yeah.  I might have been a little nervous about going to our separate rooms.  And yes, our rooms are only about 10 steps from each other, so the noise didn't have to carry that far.  But it was still funny and a bit ridiculous.

So Ava already fell asleep in the living room so Kyle went to set Ava in her crib.  And we both stood there and watched her.  Waiting for disaster so we could take her back to our room.  She rolled to her side and stayed peacefully asleep.  We went back to the living room for a bit only to check on her a few minutes later.  Now she was sleeping on her stomach.  Gosh dang it girl!  I know once a baby is strong enough to roll over that it's ok for them to sleep on their stomach.  But this is only the third time she has done this.  And really?  Sleeping on her stomach the first night out of our room.  I would really just prefer all possible dangers to be eliminated so Kyle flipped her back to her back.  But then she quickly rolled back to her side.  And shortly later back to her stomach.

Such a small girl in such a big crib

 

We gave up on flipping her to her back.  So Kyle went back out to the living room and I went into our room to get ready for bed.  I looked around at her pack n play pushed to the side of the room.  Where Ava had slept her whole life.  And it was empty.  And I felt my eyes fill with tears.

 

How did 6 months fly by?  She has laid by our sides for the past 6 months.  Protected by us from this SIDS creature that lurked in the night.  Comforted by us when she was hungry.  And loved by us when she cried.

 

 

I laid down in our bed and cried.  And cried a little more.  And I'm turning into such a sap these days.  But for the past 6 months I was able to watch her chest rise and fall next to me.  Hold her hand when I just wanted to know she was there.  And wake up to her smile every morning.  Or the smell of her poopy diaper or look at the dried spit-up on her face :)

 

 

Yes, for the past 6 months we also woke up several times in the middle of the night.  And we still wake up at least once to feed her.  But I have still loved sharing our room with her.

 

 

So while she was peacefully sleeping in the other room, I was trying to adjust to this new sleeping situation in our room.  And I began going through all the thousands of pictures of her on my phone.  Scrolling back to last days of my pregnancy and the first days of her life. 

 

 

 

 

 

And she was so tiny and so beautiful.  And there were pictures of us look a wee bit weird and awkward as first time parents.  But we took it all in stride.  And we grew into our new roles immediately and have loved our growing family.

 

 

 

  And sometimes Ava looked like a big goof. And sometimes she still does.

 

 

Statue Girl

 

 

Mohawk Girl

 

 

But these are the pictures we have to document her life.  And having this little milestone in her life of moving to her own room has made me already go back and look at the days when she first came home and to see how much our lives have changed up to this point.  And I have loved every minute. And I've loved being a mom and learning to be parents with my husband.  And learning to communicate and help each other out as we learn and make decisions together on how we will parent our baby girl.

 

 Kyle camed and joined me in our room.  Seeing my red, teary eyes.  And we lay together looking at pictures.  And we intently listened to the monitor fuzz waiting for any little noise so that we could run to the other room and rescue Ava.  Waiting for a whimper of discontent.  And it never came.  The only sound we heard was the sigh of Koda laying down next to her crib.  And I was glad Koda came to the rescue as her protector.

 

But around 4:30am Ava finally cried out for food.  And we both jumped up faster than we would have if she was next to our bed.  And we swooped Ava out of her crib to cuddle with us in bed while she ate.  Making our room feel complete again.  And making my heart feel complete again.

 

We  will continue to get used to this new arrangement.  And eventually this separation will be less taxing on me.  Everyone jokes that this separation anxiety that is talked about in every baby book is really talking about the anxiety on me and not on Ava.  And so far that seems to be true.

 

Some of this parenting stuff is hard.  I feel like some parenting decisions have to be made more with the head and less with the heart.  Because if a parent only made decisions based on their heart their kids would live close by and be taken care of and pampered for the rest of their lives so that nothing could hurt them and they would always be ok.

 

 

 

But while we adjust, if Ava ever wants to be rescued from her large, lonely, evil crib again we will be right there to swoop her up.  For her well-being, and also for ours!

 



Mommy & Me Monday

Last Monday we participated in our second week of Mommy and Baby exercise class.  If you read last weeks experience you know that the first week had a few mishaps.

This week I was much more confident walking in.   Got my baby with me. Check. Paid for the class. Check.  Brought my carrier.  Check.  We were good to go!  I get out of the van, grab everything, and run inside since the weather has switched back to winter this week.

I walk into class and see two new girls.  I said hello and they were a little stand-off-ish.  Okie dokie.  Still not meshing with these other moms too well.  They told me that they only came to this class because their other Mommy/Baby exercise class switched locations this week.  So I guess I won't be seeing them much anyways.

I set Ava down and start getting my carrier on.  I start looking around and every other freaking mom has the Ergo carriers.  The name brand, top of the line, expensive carrier for their baby.  The carrier I described last week as a strait jacket.  The one with 60 straps and clips that I couldn't handle.  I don't even know the brand of mine.  I got it from another mom at a garage sale last summer for super cheap and it was still in the box because she had never used it.  That's the brand of mine.  And I was ok with it until these judging eyes looked my way.  Whatever.  I'm fine with it as long as Ava doesn't fall out of mine during class.  And not to ruin the suspense of this story but she did in fact NOT fall out of the carrier during class :)

I get all set up and a girl from last week sets her stuff down right next to mine and says hello.  Yay a friend!  Hello...uhhh...dang it I forgot her name.  So instead I say "hey there!" which worked just fine.  We chit chat a little bit and it was nice to have a familiar face in class to talk to.  We made a little bit of a bond even if this is really only the second hour I have known her.

Class starts and I'm feeling much better than last week.  Ava is smiling and swinging her legs and talking a bit.  I think it made all the difference to face her outwards in the carrier so she could see the world rather than my neck during the class.  She liked looking in the mirror and looking at everyone else in class.  This week I felt like I was actually working out.  And I'm feeling good that it can't go any worse than last week.

This week there are about 4 babies younger than 8 weeks, two babies around 3 months, and two around 6 months.  One of the younger babies starts crying in the first ten minutes and the mom goes to the corner of the room to nurse.  I'm a little taken aback.  I'm not against breastfeeding in public, but in general I'm still pretty uncomfortable and awkward with a mom nursing in public while I'm near her in public.  I'm actually pretty uncomfortable with all bodily functions in general.   Farts, the sound of peeing, blowing your nose, #2, and most recently the sound of a breast pump.  These all make me uncomfortable.  I'm finally able to blow my nose in public, but I get stage fright with all of the other listed bodily sounds if they are not coming from me and I'm by myself.  (If you are wondering how the birthing process went we turned the volume up while Pretty Woman was playing on TV so that no possible bodily function sounds could be heard).  But in general I'd rather not be in earshot of these things if it comes from other people.  So the sound of a baby breastfeeding even if it is under a blanket is still the sound of a baby breastfeeding and I know what's going on under that blanket and I'm awkward about it.  But we are all moms so I guess this is one of those things I'm just gonna have to get over.

So I ignore that corner of the room...and a few minutes later I have to ignore the mom nursing in the other corner of the room...and I continue doing my lunges and bicep curls and tricep kickbacks.  And this week I'm magically asked to introduce myself to the class.  The teacher remembers my name and Ava's name from last week so she basically introduces us to the newcomers in class.  Apparently I made enough of an impression last week to be remembered.  But I was glad not to be left out of introductions this week. 

The teacher is great and makes a conversation with the class after each person is introduced.  Sometimes she will ask about teething or sleeping habits or how this baby is different from your last.  Just anything about being a mom.  But it's nice to hear opinions.  Input that although it's biased on what worked for a particular mom, it is just conversation.  It isn't advice from people who think you should or should not be doing something.  It's not critical or intrusive.  And it's input that is always preceded with something along the lines of "this worked for me but every kid is different" or "I tried everything and this finally worked".  It's open conversation for moms to let other moms know what worked for them without stepping on anyone's toes.  So I enjoy this throughout the class.

The rest of class goes well and I feel sweat drip down my face.  My legs are tired. My arms are tired.  Ava is still smiling.  And I'm really happy that I came back this week.  We do the last part of class which is still my favorite - where we get on the mat with our baby and do push-ups, planks, and sit-ups while interacting with our kids.

We finish with stretching and I have a big smile on my face with how the day is going.

And then an elderly gentleman enters the exercise room. 

I half-expected him just to want to say hi to all the babies and to let the mom's know how cute they are.  Instead he informs us that there is a vehicle outside that has its door wide open and he wanted to see if it belonged to any of us.  He goes on to describes the vehicle and where it's parked.  And he describes my vehicle to a T.  I didn't speak up at first thinking this is the end of class so we are heading to our vehicle anyways - no need to embarass us again this week.  But he sticks around and describes it again and everyone looks around to see who it could belong to.  Finally I pipe up and state that it is mine.  Arghhhh.  So close to the day being a complete success!  My best guess is that something was in the way of the automatic sliding door that made it open back up or that I hit the open door button on my keys on the way in.  I just hate to have anything happen where I look like a frazzled new mom rather than having it somewhat together.  But we head back outside to a cold car and made our way back home.  And we continued to enjoy our day together - just Ava and I.

Exhausted after exercise class

6 months

Ava turned 6 months today!

She has her 6 month doctor appointment about a week from today so we can get her actual height and weight measurements.
We have weighed her a few times in the last couple weeks because I got nervous we would be over the weight limit for her carseat.  She is pushing 20 lbs, but we still have a pound or so until we need to switch to her bigger carseat.  She is growing too fast :(

She slept on her stomach for the first time last weekend.  We layed her down on her back...because duh we are good parents.  "Back is best" is what I always say. And every SIDS advocate and pediatrician and sleep sack and mom you run into on the street.  So anyhow I woke up and there she was sleeping on her stomach with one leg bent up.  Just like her mama sleeps :)

 

First night in her crib and out of Mom & Dad's room :(

She has only tried a couple new foods - sweet potatoes and green beans.  She is eager to put everything in her mouth.  When we are eating I will sit her on my lap and she pulls every plate, cup, and fork towards her.  It's fun to watch, however, we are learning to be on high alert with baby dangers because she reaches for everything and puts everything in her mouth. 

I love to see how curious she is about everything around her, but I am nervous about all small objects, sharp objects, heavy objects, every object.  Everything screams baby hazard.  Too hot of food hazard.  Too small of object for baby to choke on hazard.  Small ant crawling towards Ava when we let her feel the grass hazard.  Sometimes I think something isn't a hazard and am really laid back and think that the heavens have opened up and Ava is going to survive the day.  And then Kyle jumps in to kill the ant crawling towards her...seriously this happened.  Or the time I allowed Ava to do tummy time on the table...with my arms around her because duh I'm a good Mom...but she might have stuck her mouth on the table and licked it.  I thought it was cute and funny but the hubby informed me of all the germs that were on the table that are now in her mouth.  Oops.  And so I am learning all the potential baby hazards one day at a time.

I can make Ava laugh when I say "uh-oh" and "mama".  She loves to sit (with assistance), roll (stomach to back, back to stomach, left to right, right to left, somersaults...just kidding on that last one), throw toys (no assistance there), jump in her jumper (because that's what jumpers are for), and pull on everything (hair, neck skin, leg hair, dog ears, shirt strings, the drink in your hand).  She has no teeth yet.  But everyone insists that she has teeth coming in because she drools all the time.  She has drooled for 3 months now so I think everyone is full of it and we will just wait for a tooth to actually  make an appearance.

She has been giggling a lot.  It is so cute.  She cries and pouts when Kyle or I leave the room.  She is interested in everything and squirms a lot.  She loves to grab things so bowls, cooking utensils, and plasticware are now her new toys to play with.  And she is even sweeter when she falls asleep on us.

With how happy she is it makes me wonder about nature vs nuture.  Am I making her this happy because I'm so awesome and probably the funniest person in the world?!  Or was she born this way and even if I slumped around all day and wasn't very involved with her would she still light up the way she does because of her genes?  I guess either way it's because of me and the hubs but still makes you wonder.  Either way I love acting like a fool just to break out her smile and giggles throughout the day.

 

Ava in her goofy Grandpa flannel PJs

She wants to move and watch everything.  But sometimes I have to set her down just get get ready and she gets bummed that she is not sitting on the ground with all her toys or being held.  On this patricular day I set her in her pack n play while I was getting ready and she looked like she was in jail behind the mesh lining :)

 

What a goof

Yesterday we watched the KSU vs KU game for the Big 12 Championship game.  I really didn't watch the game but KSU lost.  I was too busy taking cute pictures:

 

Happy Girl

 

Practicing her KSU Cheerleading moves

 

 

More interested in her foot than the game

 

Happy 6 months Ava!  We are already thinking about how to celebrate your first birthday!

Love you :)

 

 

And Happy Saint Patricks Day!